From Duty to Delight
Courtney Chambers, guest writer
Leading up to my first child being born, I remember feeling overwhelmed by all that was to do. People told us what bottles to buy, the best strollers, parenting books, and all the secret hacks to get your baby to sleep through the night. Each conversation and each Google search made parenting seem like an impossible task. In addition to caring for the baby's physical well-being, parents expressed the weight they felt when teaching their children about Jesus.
As a young mom, I remember purchasing materials and books because I would not allow myself to fail at this new job! Once my daughter could sit up, I began playing Bible songs and reading her books. Then I started to add other things into our daily routine because I was adamant about not failing (did I already mention that??).
Now, all of the tools and resources I used were good. That was not the issue. Instead, the issue was that I made discipleship within our home a chore, not a gift. I saw it as a job. I would go to bed beating myself up if I felt I had “failed” that day. In the end, I misunderstood my job.
God commanded us to train our kids in the way of the Lord so that our children will never walk away from the truths taught (Deuteronomy 6:4-7). We were called to love our children and point them to the gospel daily. This calling by God doesn’t mean I have to set aside hours to fulfill the task. It also didn’t mean I’m a failure if I miss my quota of Bible stories read for that day. This job, this calling to parents, is for all day, every day. Now that might seem daunting, but in reality, it is freeing. The command to disciple our children has some longitude and grace built in!
Discipleship within our homes will always be viewed as a chore or a check box on our list until we incorporate it organically into our homes. We are not tied down by a list of mandates of have-to’s when it comes to discipleship. After all, the root of discipleship begins with us, the parents, and our growing love for Jesus.
To simplify discipleship within the home, we as parents must first look at ourselves. Our relationship with Jesus will fuel our desire and heart to disciple our children. If my relationship with Jesus is like an old friend I see once a week, my children will see this. However, if my relationship with Jesus displays dependency and an urgency to spend time in Scripture, they will also see this. As I learn and grow in my walk with the Lord, it will naturally flow into my relationship with my children and how I seek to train them. Whatever we do in our days and however we speak to others should be to glorify Christ and praise him (Colossians 3:17).
This will include parenting my children as I seek to glorify the Lord in all I do. How I speak and interact with my children will be guided by a desire to glorify Christ. This means conversations about the gospel will flow more naturally as we sit around the table together because it matters to us as parents. We will seek discipline in light of the gospel because we know that only Jesus transforms hearts. We can enjoy creation as a family with thankfulness for our creator. Every hour of the day has the potential to glorify Christ, and through this, we teach our kids.
The tools and books I used early on in parenting are still on my shelves; we read and use them regularly. The only difference is that we use them not to check off a list or to pat our parenting backs. We use them as a simple gift to connect our children to the gospel. We open the books with a joyful heart, not a discontent heart. Discipleship within the home changes when the gospel softens our hearts daily.
There is freedom in discipleship within our home because of the object of our faith: Jesus! We don’t disciple our children for Instagram likes or for the church to point us out as good parents. We disciple because we were called to by God. We disciple because we desire our children to know Christ. We are not called to save our children; we are called to point our children to Christ, to the one who saves. When we simplify the discipleship within our home, we move from duty to delight.